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The Wann

TheWann formely known as the Airman in Iraq blog, since I am no longer in Iraq I decided to make this still for family and friends, with a wider stretch of thoughts for anyone else. 

Donate to the poor airman:
Wednesday, December 28, 2005

5:01 AM - Funny French

The french make me laugh, thats why we should keep them around, they are funny!!

Funny quotes--

-At least, the French remain consistent - you can always count on them to be available if the price is right.
-- Emanuel A. Winston

-The last time the French asked for ’more proof’ it came marching into Paris under a German flag.

--David Letterman

-I don’t know why people are surprised that France won’t help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn’t help us get the Germans out of France!

--Jay Leno

-French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week and not a minute too soon: the French are acting as advisers to the remaining Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly

--Jay Leno

-France announced today that it plans to ban fireworks at Euro Disney, following last night's display that caused soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to surrender.

-- Anonym

-What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than against the Nazis?

--Dennis Miller

Q. How many soldiers does it take to defend Paris?

A. Nobody knows, it has never been tried

-I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.

--General George S.Patton

-Yoy know why the French don’t want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people!

--Conan O’Brien

For 60 years, America has protected France and we’re tired of their anti-American attitude.

--Rep. Stephen Barrar

-A frenchman’s home is where another man’s wife is. There is nothing lower than the human race except the French.

--Mark Twain, 1878-1879 Journal Entry

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf.

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
--Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
--Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
--Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.

True you can sit out! side in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large
glasses of whisky I don't know."
--P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
--John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona.

Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada.
--Ted Nugent.

War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II.

The favorite bumper sticker in Washington now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
--Tom Brokaw.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
--Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
--Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
--Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

Raise your right hand if you like the French... raise both hands if you are French.

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
--John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane.
At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.
"You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked
The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival
in France!"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look.
Then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach in
'44 I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to!"


Anonymous MAXWELL SMARTASS said...


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